HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
