There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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