I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
