im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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