He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Enjoy the penises
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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