Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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