How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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