You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
