How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
