I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
