So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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