Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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