yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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