u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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