I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
