u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize