Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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