he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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