Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
