Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
