porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
