so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
