At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
