The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
