she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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