There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
