I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
