why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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