i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
