I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
