they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
