i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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