i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
