Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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