dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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