Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
