Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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