addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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