Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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(703): View more from Virginia

unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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(850): View more from Florida

if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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(206): View more from Washington

She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard

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