I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
