Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
did you just send me my own nude
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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