I want to stick my p in your. b.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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