you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
