His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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