I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
