so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
