so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
