He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Im part way to drunk.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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