It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize