I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
