You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want to make out with him forever
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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