I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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