oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
