Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
