It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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