I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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