Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
