She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
